...stormylane...

A Weighty Issue

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 14:51:48 GMT

God, what a cheesy title. Anyway, yesterday as I was talking to my boyfriend on MSN I realised what I hate most about myself. It's not my wide hips, chubby arms or cellulite as Glamour, Hello, Heat et. al. would like, but it is my insistence on moaning to said boyfriend about my wide hips, chubby arms or cellulite. Why do young women do this to themselves? It seems to me that no matter what we look like, we'll never be good enough in our own eyes or the eyes of the bitchy, misogynistic women's magazine genre. Unless one day we wake up looking like Jessica Biel/Alba, we must hate ourselves and spend every waking minute attempting to shed that last few pounds or tone those abs or get the perfect complexion.

And for what? I am a healthy UK size 10 (I gather from the label in my Gap jeans, this is a US 6), I study a subject I adore at one of the best universities in the country, I have a boyfriend who thinks I'm perfect just the way I am, a wonderful family, fantastic friends and my biggest problem right now is how bad I am at cases in German. So what if my thighs wobble a bit? What the hell is so wrong with me that I keep on whining about it?

I know it's a cliche discussion topic, but any thoughts?

I've decided to start writing some journal entries in German to help me improve. I think for now I'm going to keep them private but when I'm a bit more confident, I'll make them public :/ I'm only writing that here so I do stick with the plan!

Wow, I properly died for a while...

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:26:03 GMT

I am alive, honestly! Some things happened that meant I didn't have time to update my journal but now I'm back. The first thing was, I got a job. It was fantastic too, I loved every minute of it (but I'll explain more about that once I'm done justifying my month long disappearance). Second, my dumbass of a boyfriend ended up in hospital after a drugs overdose. I realise that makes him sound like a complete waster but honestly he's not, it was just one stupid mistake - and God knows, not a mistake he'll be making again any time soon.

[/ justification]

Anyway, my job. For the past month, I've been working as an Activity Organiser at a language school. Teenagers from all over the world come to the school to learn English, and my job was to help plan and execute all of their extracurricular activities. We went on daytrips shopping to London, we played sport in the park, we had BBQs, we went to the beach, generally it was a fab time. Because people tended to stay for only a week or two at a time, it meant I got to meet hundreds of kids from all sorts of places - France, Portugal, Italy, Spain, Israel, Russia, China, Japan, Brazil and so on. That was the best part. It certainly made me realise a lot about people and human nature. Although yes, there are regional differences between people, cultures, traditions and lifestyle, and although goverments may make decisions possibly deemed as 'bad' in the name of their peoples, we're all humans together and we all feel the same emotions. We just express them in different ways. Soppy I know, but I just had to write about it. Permission to be sick granted.

It's made me really motivated to learn new languages as well. My boss spoke English, French, Italian and Swahili and two of my colleagues spoke English, French, Italian, Spanish and are learning Chinese! What do I have? English and a vague grasp of German. Hardly impressive. So I've been really giving my German a good go and I've decided I also want to learn some French, Chinese and definitely Arabic. Obviously it's a big ask but if I put my mind to it, I'll sure I'll manage some of one language on the list!

So yeah... that's a summary of my summer so far. I still have two months until I go back to university but it feels like it's nearly over. For the rest of it, I think I'll just kick back and relax, safe in the knowledge my time off hasn't been a total waste. Although in a week or so, expect an LJ posting whining about how bored I am again :/

Oh yeah, and if they even remember me I've added all the people that added me whilst I was away :)

I can't think of a title

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:14:36 GMT

So I didn't get that job at the kids camp. I was pretty upset at the time, considering I'd been told it was 75% certain that I had it but at least the children of South West England can breath a sigh of relief knowing that they won't be put into my shoddy care.

I'm sat here with a piece of paper covered in phone numbers, trying to drum up the courage to call some people and enquire about work experience. I'm so sick of doing nothing with my summer breaks - everyone else seems to do something interesting and/or productive whilst I sit on my arse wondering why I've got nothing to do. For example, one of my housemates has been travelling in Vietnam, worked in a French Centre Parcs, worked at a French kids camp and will be spending the next year living in Paris. My ex boyfriend went travelling in the USA last summer, and in Eastern Europe the year before. And my current boyfriend has a full-time job and will earn about £2000 to fund more travelling after last year's trip to South America! What about my record? Well last year I worked in a clothes shop for a couple of months. And the year before I worked in a clothes shop for a couple of months. All well and good if I want a career in fashion retail but frankly, I do not.

I just seem to have a fear of really putting myself out there and finding something interesting and worthwhile to do. My friends that have amazing lives (and consequently, CVs) go out and get it for themselves but I can't even bring myself to pick up the phone.

Wish me luck :/

Huzzah!

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:02:23 GMT

I love that word, huzzah. I'd never seriously say it, but I just love that bit in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl where Elizabeth's dad comes out of hiding when the pirates are beaten on his ship and he joins in the cries of 'huzzah'.

Moving on from that random outburst, I'm feeling much better! Thanks to everyone who left sweet comments, they really cheered me up. I've only got a bit of a cough now but as long as I keep a watch on my asthma I'll be fine. And although it doesn't look like I'll get a job at my mum's (thank God!), I applied for a summer job working at a kids camp a few weeks ago and apparently I'll find out whether I got it either tomorrow or Saturday. I really hope I do get it as it sounds like fun, but honestly, if you knew how bad I am with children, you'd probably think it best for their own well-being if I didn't!

Anyway, I was flicking through my favourite newspaper this morning, the Sun (ho ho) when I came across an article about Prime Minister Gordon Brown - that still doesn't sound right! - and his campaign to get all public buildings to fly the Union flag to show all the nasty terrorists that they won't beat us and 'Our Brave Boys' in Iraq and Afghanistan. Okay, so I made that last bit up but they do usually chuck some reference to 'Our Boys' in any and all articles, so it's not completely out of the blue. I take issue with this campaign, surprise surprise. Don't get me wrong, I do not sympathise with terrorists or condone their actions. I think killing people in such a way (or any way, for that matter) is deplorable and shouldn't be tolerated. However, I can't help but feel this is a bad way to handle the situation. First of all, such an explicit reaction only shows that their actions have been noticed and have affected us in some way. Doesn't that just feed them? It's what they want: recognition.

Second, a display of 'Britishness' and extreme patriotism only leads the way to more extreme nationalism. I wrote a second semester essay on nationalism not long ago, and one thing I took away from it is how destructive a force it can be for international relations and even intra-national relations. Essentially we're saying that we're different to other nations because of our 'Britishness' , and thus those in Britain that are not British are not included. That may well be true, I don't know, but why should it be? Our world today is so fractured anyway without us waving flags and shouting about how "great" it is to be from the UK. Surely, in the interests of world harmony, a better approach would be to focus on our common humanity and membership of the human race? We're all people, and place of birth does not make one person inherently better or more worthy than another. I'm not saying we should be ashamed to be British or to have a national identity, but I do think a better approach would be to quietly acknowledge it whilst working to heal the rifts between nations that, at their very core, are really not that different anyway.

Finally, the cynic in me can't help but accuse Gordon Brown of taking advantage of the situation by trying to round up the masses and get them on his side at this eary point in his premiership. It's somewhat understandable, granted, but I'd find it much easier to take Brown seriously if he did this based on solid policies that change Britain for the better, rather than flag-waving and back-patting because we're British.

[/ rant]

Anyway, I got my haircut yesterday. I'm really up and down with it - sometimes I love it, other times I think it makes me look like a 12 year old boy with unnaturally large breasts. Does anyone have any styling tips for a cut just below the chin?!

zzzzz

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 15:05:24 GMT

I am so bored. I am so ridiculously bored that I have spent today wandering aimlessly around my house, and watching TV shows like Loose Women and BBC News 24. Why is this? It's because I am ill, and I have no real friends at home anymore. This university lark is weird, for eight months of the year my life is there, with my boyfriend, my studies, my work, my friends and everything. Then every summer I'm thrown back into a sort of limbo, where the only things I have to look forward to are lunch at Gran's and a workout session with my dad.

Ho hum. I'm hoping, hoping, to get a job soon. Mum says she can fix me up with something in her office but I can't decide what's worse: endless mindnumbing data input, or endless repeats of Ricki Lake?

This has been a bit of a pointless post but despite my utter boredom, my illness has sapped me of any energy and I can't be arsed to write anything else!

Just... why?

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 10:28:55 GMT

"A 16-year-old girl has gone to the High Court to accuse her school of discriminating against Christians by banning the wearing of "purity rings"."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6229098.stm

Hmm. I have nothing against Christianity, or any religion, but I'm not a religious person myself. I'm agnostic. I have nothing against abstinence either if that's what you feel you need to do, and if you need a ring to remind you of that then knock yourselves out, it's none of my business.

But taking a school you don't even attend anymore to the High Court over some purity ring? That seems excessive to me. The school hasn't even placed a specific ban just on purity rings, they have a no jewellery policy as many British schools do. Miss Playfoot's argument is that "Sikh and Muslim pupils can wear bangles and headscarves in class". This is an interesting line to take... she is clearly likening her ring to these other religious items, but there's quite a significant difference. Whereas certain branches of Sikhism and Islam require these items to be worn as a compulsory part of their religion, no branch of Christianity requires the purity ring. The Silver Ring Thing may require it, but that is not a religion.

But this brings us on to another debate... why is religion given precedence over other belief systems or pledges in this way? Let's say, hypothetically, that I am an anarchist. I want to express my belief by wearing a necklace featuring an anarchy symbol, like this one. By allowing Sikh bangles, Islamic headscarves and Christian crucifixes (which the school do actually allow, despite them not being required by the Christian religion), are they implying that my belief in the ideology of anarchism is somehow less important, or not on par with religious belief? If so, why? I don't believe in any of the major world religions, or indeed, any of the world religions full stop, so why should I sit back and allow people that do to have more rights than me?

Similarly, I've promised myself that I'm going to lose weight by the time I go back to university. A ring reminding me of that would be pretty damned useful, just as I presume the purity ring is for Lydia for times when keeping the pledge becomes difficult. Why should Miss Playfoot be allowed her pledge ring, but not me? Is her pledge, being rooted in religion, more important than mine? If I said that God wanted me to lose weight, would I have more right to a promise ring?

If I were Lydia, I'd take that line of argument claiming that the school are contravening her human rights and the human rights of all other students, and thus should allow all symbolic jewellery. I certainly wouldn't go around making wild claims to the media, such as "the real reason for the extreme hostility... is the dislike of the message of sexual restraint". No, love, it is because the school have a no jewellery policy. She sounds like a hysterical child, throwing her toys out of the pram.

Having said that, I still don't think Lydia should win her case. The school has a uniform policy, and as the defence lawyers are arguing, by choosing to attend the school Lydia chose to accept that uniform policy, as we all do. End of story. Loads of my friends weren't allowed to wear their pentagram necklaces but did they sue? No. They put their heads down, finished their GCSEs and wore their pentagrams when they were no longer subject to the uniform requirements of the school.

But then, there's always one, isn't there?

Last night my boyfriend and I were extremely impulsive (well, for us) and decided that tomorrow, he's going to come down and see my little town for the first time! Aah! I've not seen him for two weeks which isn't long really, but it feels like ages. And we have another three months stretching ahead of us until university starts again. Boo. I'm quite enjoying being at home though, it's great to see my family and not have to worry about bills!

Oh, and how good was Doctor Who? I do have a question though. I thought we'd get at least a brief explanation of the Futurekind and the fate of the people in the rocket in 'Utopia'. So... what was the point of them, then? Filler material I guess, and more shoddy writing from Russell T. Davis. Hopefully, they'll tie in to the finale somehow...

Last Refuge of the Unimaginative

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:04:57 GMT

It's June. So June technically being summer and all, when I had to walk to town today I assumed I'd be okay in a white t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops, as all English people appear to do at this time of year. But it always ends the same way. Wet feet, a soaking wet t-shirt and a load of annoying shouts from lorry drivers about that wet t-shirt and my sizeable chest. Fantastic.

Why do we never learn? English weather is generally shit, end of story. And yet we still go out and stock up on little tops, sun dresses and denim shorts that inevitably only get panic-worn on that week long summer holiday in the Mediterranean.

Grr!!

Oh yeah, and if you were wondering about the title, it's from a quote by Oscar Wilde: “Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

defiant lily vows to foist scorn on crappy tabloids

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:59:16 GMT

I don't like to admit it, but we get The Sun, a British tabloid, delivered to the house every day. I always think it's a load of bollocks, but I always read it anyway. It's like that kind of morbid fascination involved in car crashes - people don't want to look, and yet they still swarm around anyway. Just the other day there was a crash on the motorway, and on the bridge above people had actually stopped their cars to get out and have a bit of a stare.

But anyway. The point is, this "newspaper" is a bunch of rubbish and yet still have the cheek to call one of their gossip-mongers a 'Political Editor'. If I were George Pascoe-Watson, I'd be thoroughly ashamed of myself for producing such crap. I'd be especially ashamed of myself today, after printing an article entitled "Europe at war over treaty". You can read the whole thing here (if you can stomach it). The general backstory is that the EU are attempting to form a treaty to replace the failed attempt at an EU constitution, but there are disagreements over what should be in it. In Mr. Pascoe-Watson's version of events, however, the UK has been labelled 'stupid' by Portugal and (this is the best line):

"defiant Germany vowed to foist job-destroying laws on the UK "

Yes. Rebellious, nasty Germany have decided that the UK, and only the UK, must have laws pushed upon them to ensure jobs are destroyed. Seriously, where do they get these people? I can understand if you want to be anti-Europe, everyone's entitled to an opinion. But why write such an utter piece of trash that is basically disputed on all levels by someone with much more credibility, namely the BBC? Their article is here. Of specific relevance is:

"The UK and Poland are opposed to key elements of the treaty" (so it's not just the UK) and

"Mr Barroso did not refer to the UK or Poland directly" (no mention of British stupidity, then?).

Absolutely no mention of job-destruction either. Yeah, the BBC aren't without bias. But at least they don't appear to brazenly make things up and vow to defiantly foist them upon us as the truth (haha). But you can bet your arse I'm reading it again, this time tomorrow!

I can't believe this has taken all day

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 15:26:04 GMT

This isn't my first blog, and I'm generally a pretty slow person, but it has literally taken me from 10am until now to get this thing to look the way I want it to. I thought I'd get it done in the morning and then have time for something else in the afternoon! Oh well.

I'm all tired out from the computing, I'll write a proper entry tomorrow :)